The Thought of an Acceptance
(Diary: 27.8.89)
to AH


All night I dreamt of you:
a map was given to me like the geography
we deciphered at school leading to where
you live, and I wanted to follow you home.
But something didn’t seem quite right at the time.

That gleam I’ve remembered each time
you are mentioned lost within a look
anxiously vague and diffident, yet cautiously
intent on a thing I hear you still continue
to yearn and yearn for, sometimes even
at the thought of an acceptance.

Like me, I feel you already know
what no amount of evasion can erase —
how I write, and write, always lost
in this search for identity, of being myself,
and although mostly dissatisfied, for now
I think is enough for me — Life is delusion.
Can we ever pretend it to be otherwise?


____________________________
This 16 year old piece was dreamt about in secondary school and set to words later at varsity. I've often wondered what's become of the person mentioned in the poem. I do hope he’s come to terms with being himself.